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Happy Birthday to an amazing man!

A devoted, caring...

fun daddy.

An accomplished person.

An all around catch (yowza!).

My best friend!

What Makes a Mother

It's funny, I'm not sure how often others out there think about their own personal roles as mother, I think about it everyday. This is mostly because I feel like a big giant failure everyday! Not even like a little failure, but like "I should create a therapy fund for my kids" failure. I'm not saying this to garner any sympathy, motherhood for me has been really hard. I realize right now I'm in the "trenches"; my kids are completely dependent on me, and that's not only physically draining but I feel emotionless by the end of the day (poor Dan). I'm also starting to truly understand how hard I am on myself, and as Dan says to cut myself some slack. It just doesn't seem like there's much room for error when it comes to another human being. Am I wrong?

For as much as I do wrong, I spend equal time at my kids bedsides at night apologizing and praying for more patience, understanding, empathy, etc.

Maybe your thinking, she has three kids, shouldn't she have it figured out by now? Okay, first of all I'm a slow learner. Secondly, every time I think I'm starting to get the hang of it, one or more of my kids find a new way to push my buttons, so really they're to blame...right...hmmm...maybe not, but that's my story...

The truth is I love my kids! They're funny, and smart, and sweet! Danielle takes such good care of her siblings, and of me, she's so in tune with everyone's needs! Raycey is so giving, he is such a sweet boy! He's taught me to give without condition. Avie Jo makes me laugh, what an endearing soul! She's strong and feisty! We've affectionately nicknamed her "two feet of terror".
I've been a mom for 8 years and I learn everyday and not just motherly kind of stuff, my kids teach me about everything!

This picture was taken right after I delivered Rayce. I had always wanted to have at least one of my kids completely drug free. It was a great experience, and I love how I look like I'm high on natural labor! I almost look a little crazy.

This was Danielle's first day of kindergarten, not my finest hour! I cried like I would never stop, I embarrassed Danielle and she asked if Dan could take her the next day!

Hawaii

Something about mommies and little boys

4 days before I had Avie Jo. This is one of the only picture's I've ever taken of a bare preggo belly. Truth is I don't like my bare preggo bellies.

One of these days Avie will sleep in her own bed. Hopefully, before preschool comes a 'callin.

At least they're asleep, even if it's in the middle of my laundry.

If I know anything about motherhood, it's because I have the best mother in the world. She was/is, will always be the best example of giving unconditional love. She adores her kids and her grandkids! My mother in law Diane has also been another great example to me and I love her dearly (She's a little camera-shy). I have so many great friends who I get the opportunity to watch parent daily, they inspire me to step up my game and be a better mother and person!

An unknown author once said "The thing about motherhood is usually once you're experienced you're usually unemployed". My thoughts exactly. Isn't motherhood great? Sometimes frustrating but always rewarding whether we feel it in the moment or not. Happy Mother's Day!

A Shout Out

Dan and I were able to live in Sugarhouse, Utah for 4 years and both go to the University of Utah. We lived about 5 minutes away from the school among quaint pre-war bungalows and mature trees, a vast contrast from our current surroundings. When we first moved to Sugarhouse, Danielle was soon to turn 3 years old, and we knew no one. We've moved 5 times in our 9+ years of marriage and this was the only move that felt like we were moving home. It was effortless. We lived in an 1100 square foot duplex that was built in 1957. It was cold in the winter and hot in the summer (although, not AZ hot). The fireplace didn't heat the place at all. The bathroom was teeny-tiny. The kitchen had original appliances and the ugliest linoleum you've ever seen, and there was no back yard for Danielle to play, but we didn't care. We loved EVERYTHING about the place. It's funny, granite counter tops and stainless steel appliances don't necessarily make a place home.

This is a picture of our actual street back in the twenties, our duplex would be built and is located on the far left in this photo. The trees are now taller than the homes. They are now trying to designate the "yalecrest" (as it's known) area as a historical district. The grassy area in the middle is where Danielle would play because we didn't have a back yard.

One of our favorites, The Blue Iguana. Dan and I frequently daydream about all our old regular eating spots. Have I mentioned we like food?

Mostly, I miss my friends. We had some amazing people in our area that we were fortunate to be able to call friends and I miss them. Just wanted to tell them how much they mean to us, by the way, none of them have blogs so they probably won't read this, but just in case, we love you, and miss you.

We moved from Sugarhouse when Danielle was 6, Rayce was 1, and I had just found out we were expecting Avie. A lot has changed in a short time, I thought living here a couple of years would take away this home sick feeling, and it has faded, but I still miss Utah I can't lie. Although, I can say I also really love Arizona and I'm glad we have the opportunity to have these experiences. How else would we know where we want to end up living if we don't experience what's out there? Okay, I'll stop whining now. Thanks for reading my self indulgent rant!