Sunday, May 9, 2010

What Makes a Mother

It's funny, I'm not sure how often others out there think about their own personal roles as mother, I think about it everyday. This is mostly because I feel like a big giant failure everyday! Not even like a little failure, but like "I should create a therapy fund for my kids" failure. I'm not saying this to garner any sympathy, motherhood for me has been really hard. I realize right now I'm in the "trenches"; my kids are completely dependent on me, and that's not only physically draining but I feel emotionless by the end of the day (poor Dan). I'm also starting to truly understand how hard I am on myself, and as Dan says to cut myself some slack. It just doesn't seem like there's much room for error when it comes to another human being. Am I wrong?

For as much as I do wrong, I spend equal time at my kids bedsides at night apologizing and praying for more patience, understanding, empathy, etc.

Maybe your thinking, she has three kids, shouldn't she have it figured out by now? Okay, first of all I'm a slow learner. Secondly, every time I think I'm starting to get the hang of it, one or more of my kids find a new way to push my buttons, so really they're to blame...right...hmmm...maybe not, but that's my story...

The truth is I love my kids! They're funny, and smart, and sweet! Danielle takes such good care of her siblings, and of me, she's so in tune with everyone's needs! Raycey is so giving, he is such a sweet boy! He's taught me to give without condition. Avie Jo makes me laugh, what an endearing soul! She's strong and feisty! We've affectionately nicknamed her "two feet of terror".
I've been a mom for 8 years and I learn everyday and not just motherly kind of stuff, my kids teach me about everything!

This picture was taken right after I delivered Rayce. I had always wanted to have at least one of my kids completely drug free. It was a great experience, and I love how I look like I'm high on natural labor! I almost look a little crazy.

This was Danielle's first day of kindergarten, not my finest hour! I cried like I would never stop, I embarrassed Danielle and she asked if Dan could take her the next day!


Something about mommies and little boys

4 days before I had Avie Jo. This is one of the only picture's I've ever taken of a bare preggo belly. Truth is I don't like my bare preggo bellies.

One of these days Avie will sleep in her own bed. Hopefully, before preschool comes a 'callin.

At least they're asleep, even if it's in the middle of my laundry.

If I know anything about motherhood, it's because I have the best mother in the world. She was/is, will always be the best example of giving unconditional love. She adores her kids and her grandkids! My mother in law Diane has also been another great example to me and I love her dearly (She's a little camera-shy). I have so many great friends who I get the opportunity to watch parent daily, they inspire me to step up my game and be a better mother and person!

An unknown author once said "The thing about motherhood is usually once you're experienced you're usually unemployed". My thoughts exactly. Isn't motherhood great? Sometimes frustrating but always rewarding whether we feel it in the moment or not. Happy Mother's Day!


Kim said...

awww this post made me teary eyed! I feel the same way a lot of the time. Being a mom is HARD but definitely rewarding! My kids teach me things everyday! And it gets easier as they get older! You are doing a great job!

Jennie said...

You're not alone in thinking this experience of being a "Mother" is completely overwhelming and sometimes even impossible. You are doing an awesome job! I absolutely think the world of Danielle and Rayce and Avie are great kids too. Do we all have room for improvement? Sure. But it's everything that you are doing right that truly makes your family who they are. And they are something great!